Fairfax County Police have agreed to hire Jean or Gene Nelson as a uniformed officer. Nelson will be exempt from the standard hiring procedures and training required of most Fairfax County employees.
When asked to explain, Fairfax County Spokesman Mary Ann Jennings screamed, “Let us hear that concern! We are not hearing it from anybody except the media, except individual reporters!" She then jumped on her broom, flew out a window, and disappeared into the sky surrounded by those flying monkeys’ things from the Wizard of Oz, the ones with the bellhop hats that kicked the shit out of the Straw man. Anyway....
In regard to Nelson, Chief Roareher said....
......you know, just to be clear, the flying monkeys are different from those lion looking things with the English army fur hats who marched around the castle singing “Oreo” although nobody I ever met can figure that one out, I mean why “Oreo”? Anyway...
In regard to Nelson, Chief Roareher said ...We hired it because, it came in and demanded a job and then ate two of my guys. I shot it but the son of bitch ate my gun”
Officer Nelson starts work on Monday