Fairfax County Cops

Fairfax County Cops

new Police station in Tysons?

It’s now reached the point where the Fairfax County Police in McLean are holding their own press conferences to declare news on crime waves that haven’t happened and probably won’t happen either.
The motivation behind this grab for even more power in our government is the possibility of a new police station and other additions to our already bloated and grossly over funded police.

 We didn’t get a photo of the cop demanding a new police station but this is essentially what it looked like

There are several points to be taken from the cop's demands on our pockets. One is that the police in the McLean area are “overwhelmed”.  Not true. On any night of the week, several cop cars can be watched, and can be watched for an extended spell, stopped in Lewinsville Park, motors running on the gasoline we pay for.  But you have to watch from a distance. The cops make goddamn sure no one enters the park after dark besides them. And now you know why.

The other point is the pending mass of criminally prone hordes that the cops say will sweep into Tyson’s with the arrival of the Metro. Yes, as remarkable as it is, we employ cops too dumb to go find a better job yet smart enough to foresee the future. Ironic, ain’t it?

“More crime is on the way so give us a raise.”  What else would you expect a cop to say?  “Don’t worry, everything will fine?”  Of course a cop won’t say that. Cops live off the public till and in Fairfax County the cops live very, very well off the public teat and the best way for them to keep citizens from asking why the cops in Fairfax County operate on an open-checkbook basis, is to scare the taxpayer into thinking that without massive law enforcement spending, chaos and crime will rule our streets.

For the cops it’s easier to scare than to explain why they weren’t prepared for the Metro opening years ago, or why they haven’t figured out ways to deal with a possible increase in crime within their $300,000,000 budget.

 That would be the concerned, forward thinking way to handle this.  But thinking, concerned cops who plan out the community good won’t happen in Fairfax County, however playing the race card to pimp more money out of the taxpayer will happen.  In fact it’s happening right now because that’s what “crime will increase when the metro opens” appears to be.  It seems like “white speak” for “the black people are coming to rob us and the bastards are taking the metro to get here”.  

We can’t blame the cops for demanding more of everything. After all, when has the board of supervisors ever denied them anything?
In Fairfax County the cops massive budget finances an underused and barely useful  Police Navy, a Police Air Force that’s proven time and again to be redundant and a SWAT team large enough and bored enough to fall out for the execution of an unarmed gambler they set up for arrest.  The cops literally get away with murder. So why not demand a new police station and a new hire of a hundred cops?

The policeman in McLean says that getting more cops to work for him is “critical”…yeah for him, not for us, but then again, your money means nothing to the Fairfax County Police because barely one of them lives in this county.
The proposed multi-million dollar Tysons police station would sit on acres and acres of commercially valuable land and would require that the taxpayer pick up the tab to hire an additional 132 new cops and 30 generically named “staff”.  To the cops it makes sense. Few, if any of them have ever held a job outside government. To them, your money grows on magic trees.  

There are other alternatives:

Name the station “The Bernard Goetz Welcome Center”:  In 1984, Goetz gunned down four black men on a subway because one of them asked him for money. Bernie is now the New York City police chief but I’m sure we can lure him down here with the right dose of medication. The Fairfax cops could get him to shoot black people as they arrive at the station, saving them the time of shooting blacks randomly over a longer period of time.  This solution also saves the cops the effort of thinking up another scary excuse for murdering people (“evil spirits opened the car door on my elbow, pulled the gun from my holster and shot the dangerous eye doctor directly through the heart”). With Goetz, they could just say “Well, Bernie's fuck’n nuts”.        


Sharon Bulova: The cops could force all newly arriving blacks to listen to Sharon Bulova explain why law enforcement’s political contributions to her campaign wasn’t a political payoff to avoid police oversight in the county. After a few minutes of listening to this old white lady, black people will shoot themselves. Problem solved.  

Sharon Bulova

Where the hell is the chief of police and the seemingly endless, endless line of overpaid deputy-assistant-to-the- assistant-deputy-of- the- deputy- police-chief?  Don’t we pay someone in an executive level to make this sort of call?  Where’s Rhorer when you actually need him?


But don’t worry all is not lost.  Poster child for the perpetually confused, Supervisor John Foust, who kept his office in the McLean Police station for years, took his usual marshmallow stand and effectively said nothing. Well almost nothing.

 “Why do you feel the need for such a significant investment?” he asked the inquiring  reporter as if the reporter was planning to build the additional police station out of her spare pocket change. 

                                                    Supervisor John Foust

On the other side of the mentally challenged spectrum we find…and not surprisingly …  big time spender, lifelong government worker and cop suck-up, Supervisor Gerry Hyland (Mount Vernon) who said, “We’re going to need another station. The question isn’t whether, it’s when.” …and so much for democracy.

Hyland, a bachelor who has spent most of his life around men….we’re just say’n that’s all….not there is ANYTHING wrong with that…. may be little more than a waterboy for the cops, but at least we know where he stands, or in his case, which rock he’s curled up under.   

Supervisor Gerry Hyland

And in the end, he’s right. When those pillars of mush on the Board of Supervisors assume no one is watching, they’ll stop their puffery about standing up to the police.  Then the cops, with their one third of a billion dollar budget, will get their new station in Tysons.  That’s the way it goes here in Fairfax County where our elected officials are convenient liberals with bendable principles and the cops run the show.